In his best-selling book The
Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman says,
“Love is the most important word in the English language—and the most
confusing.”[1] The
Greeks had at least four distinct words to describe the various aspects of that
spectrum of actions and emotions that we lump under the heading of the single
English word love. Most often, we
think of love as a feeling we get. We talk about “falling in love,” and by that
we refer to the state of euphoria that we feel when we are infatuated with
another person. But love is not a feeling, it is an action. It is something we do.
The Bible commands us to love. When asked what the greatest
commandment is, Jesus replied that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord
our God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. Jesus went on to say
that second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. He said
there is no other commandment greater than these (Mk 12:28-31). Here in our
text, Jesus begins and ends by stating that His commandment for His followers
is that they love one another (Jn 15:12, 17). Now, we may find these
commandments difficult to understand primarily because we associate love with a
feeling. If I am commanded to love another person, I may object that I cannot
make myself feel something for that
person that I simply do not feel. But the issue in the commandment is not how
we feel but how we act toward that person. Feelings aside,
we are called to demonstrate loving actions toward one another. We may have
loving feelings toward that person, or we may not. As we act lovingly toward
them, our feelings may change, or they may not. We may have loving feelings for
them, but they may not have loving feelings toward us. But this does not get us
off the hook of obeying the command of the Lord Jesus to love one another. And
while the Bible has much to say about love for one’s family, one’s friends,
one’s neighbor (which the Bible defines very broadly to include anyone who is
in need to whom we can do good), and even one’s enemies, the context here in
this passage of John’s Gospel is the love that we are called to express to one
another within the Church, the family of God. Jesus commands us to love our
fellow Christians – our brothers and sisters in the faith.
Friends, there are a lot of things that we can do as a
church, but there are only a few that we must
do in obedience to the Lord’s commands. We must proclaim the Word of God. We
must engage in the Great Commission of making disciples of all nations. We must
continue in the observance of baptism and the Lord’s Supper. And we must love
one another. We are not talking about a feeling. We are talking about how we
treat one another, how we serve one another, and how we act toward one another.
This is the Lord’s command for His church – that we love one another.
The repeated command to love one another in verses 12 and 17
is like a set of bookends that hold up the verses in between. So these verses
unpack how it is that we are to love one another in the Body of Christ. We find
here what our love is to look like and how it is to be enacted. So, as a people
of God, let us sit at the feet of Jesus and hear Him speak tenderly to us about
how He has called us to love one another, and then let us commit ourselves to
this kind of love.
I. We must love one another in imitation of Christ (v12-13)
When I was a kid, I decided I wanted to take up golf. I
began watching it on television, and reading every book and magazine I could
find about it. Then I went out on the golf course and I shot ten over par … on
the first hole! Golf is an expensive hobby, and all the more if you aren’t any
good at it, so my parents decided that I needed to take lessons from the PGA
professional at a local golf course. I never became great, but I became good
enough to enjoy it for a long time until my back started giving me problems.
The point is that when we want to do something, the best way to learn is to
have a good teacher, a good example, a good role model to emulate. And when it
comes to loving others, we have the ultimate example in the Lord Jesus Christ.
His command in verse 12 is this, “that you love one another,
just as I have loved you.” He calls us to love one another in imitation of His
love for us. But Jesus’ love for us is not just a giddy feeling that makes Him
tingle when He thinks of us. His love for us is exemplified in loving actions
that He has taken on our behalf. He describes His love for us in verse 13:
“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his
friends.” The Apostle Paul put it this way in Galatians 2:20: “The Son of God …
loved me and gave Himself up for me.” This is, in the words of Jesus, the
greatest measure of love that anyone could ever have – to put his or her own
life aside for the benefit of another. And no one ever loved you like Jesus. He
did this in the ultimate way. Our greatest need in life, whether we realize it
or not, is our need to be rescued from the destructiveness of sin. Sin is
destroying us from the moment we are conceived, and left unremedied, it will
destroy us eternally in hell. But because Jesus loves us, He met that need. He
took our sins upon Himself in His death on the cross, and died to bear the
wrath that our sins deserve so that we could be forgiven by God, reconciled to
Him, and granted His righteousness in exchange so we can live forever in God’s
presence in heaven. No one else could do that for you, and you cannot do it for
someone else. Only Jesus could love you in that way, and He has.
But Jesus says here that we can imitate the selfless,
sacrificial love that He demonstrated in that ultimate way. We cannot die to
atone for another’s sins, but we can give ourselves up, lay our lives aside, to
meet the need of another person. John puts it this way in his First Epistle:
“We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay
down our lives for the brethren” (1 Jn 3:16). In the context there, the laying
down of our lives would include doing anything we can to meet the need of our brothers
and sisters in Christ. In Acts 2, we read that the first generation of
believers loved each other in this way. The believers were said to have “all
things in common, and they began selling their property and possessions and
were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.” This is the greatest
love that we can have – to elevate the well-being of our friends above our own,
and make whatever sacrifice is necessary to meet their needs.
Believe it or not, there are some who quibble about this verse
and claim that there is an inconsistency or contradiction here in God’s Word.
They base this on two other passages of Scripture. One is in the Sermon on the
Mount, Matthew 5:43-48. There Jesus calls us to love our enemies, saying, “if
you love those who love you, what reward do you have?” The other passage is
Romans 5:8, where Paul says that God demonstrated His love toward us in this,
that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Therefore, some say that
the greatest measure of love is not actually to lay down one’s life for his or
her friends, but even greater to lay it down for one’s enemies. Well friends,
we do not have a contradiction or inconsistency here at all. As I mentioned
earlier, there are several Greek words for love,
and the one that is most commonly used of God’s love for us is the group of
words related to the root agape. But
another commonly used word for love is the word phileo, which we often associate with brotherly or friendly love.
Here Jesus uses both: Greater agape has
no one than this, that one lay down his life for his phileo. There are different nuances of the word, but frankly too
much is often made of the distinction. In John’s Gospel, at least, the words
seem to function almost as synonyms. Therefore, we could just as easily
translate Jesus’ statement here as, “Greater love has no one than this, that
one lay down his life for the ones he loves.” In this case, it really doesn’t
matter if that one is a friend or enemy, for we are called to love them both.
Christ’s love is so magnificent and strong, that in laying down His life for
those whom He loves He is able to make friends of His enemies. And He calls us
to do the same: to lay down our lives for the ones we love, be they friends or
enemies, and by that sacrificial love to make friends of our enemies.
Nevertheless, our context here is not dealing with enemies,
but with friends. Jesus is talking to His friends, and He is talking about how
we love our friends – those ones whom we love within the family of God. As Carson writes, “[G]enuine
love for God ensures genuine love for His Son … ; that genuine love for the Son
ensures obedience to … the command to love (13:34-35; 15:12). By an unbreakable
chain, love for God is tied to and verified by love for other believers.”[2] As
John writes in 1 John 4,
In this is love, not that we loved
God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. …We love
because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his
brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has
seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from
Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. (1 Jn 4:11-21)
We have not merely been commanded to love, we have been
given the ultimate example and role model in love. How could we ever love with
the kind of sacrificial love that is commanded of us? By looking at our
example, Jesus, and imitating Him. If we are to love one another as He has
loved us, we must do so in imitation of Him. This brings us to the second
aspect of the love to which Jesus has called us.
II. We must love one another in obedience to Christ
(vv13-15).
Years ago, I heard a story about Dr. Graham Scroggie, a
great English preacher of the last century. I hope it is true, but I haven’t
found a source for it. As best I can recall the details of the story, it seems
that after a service, Scroggie counseled with a woman who confessed that she struggled
in an area of obedience in her life. Scroggie took out a pen and a piece of
paper and wrote on it two words: “No Lord.” He explained to her that those two
words cannot coexist side by side. If Jesus is our Lord, we cannot say no to
Him. If we say no to Him, then we prove that He is not our Lord. He told the
woman to take the paper home and pray about which one of those words she would
mark out. If Jesus is Lord, then whatever He commands, the answer is “Yes!”
When one who is Lord speaks, it is incumbent on all who are
His servants to obey Him. In our human nature, we like to ask, “Why?” We see it
in children. We tell them, “Clean your room!” They respond, “Why?” And we say,
“Because I said so.” Because we speak from a position of authority, we do not
have to explain our reasons. But though Jesus can relate to us in this way as
Lord, He has also chosen to relate to us in a more intimate way. He has called
us His friends. He loved us as a friend when He laid down His life for us. And
as His friends, He gives us insight into His word, His will, and His purpose
for us and for the whole world. He says in verse 15, “No longer do I call you
slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called
you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known
to you.”
It is an astounding thing to be called a friend of the Lord
of lords and King of kings. In the Old Testament, of all the men and women
whose lives are recorded there, only two are called friends of God: Abraham and
Moses. And both of those men are known for having extraordinary access to and
revelation from God. God had graciously drawn these men into His secret
counsel. Now that title of “friend of God” is placed upon all who call upon
Jesus Christ. He has drawn us into the intimate circle of friendship and made
known to us His truth. I love how Mounce puts this: “In times of difficulty,
when we may be tempted to think that God has removed Himself from us and
concealed His plans, it is good to remember that we are still friends of Jesus
and as such have access to insights unavailable to the unbeliever.”[3]
There will always be mysteries. Our minds are finite; God is infinite. But the
Spirit of God who indwells us as believers discloses to us the truth of the
Word of God so that, even when we do not know all that we may wish to know, we
know all that we need to know about who the Lord is and how He works in our
lives and in the world. This is a benefit exclusively restricted to His
friends.
But make no mistake about it, His friendship with us does
not exempt us from the expectation of obedience. Some years ago, I was pulled
over for speeding in my hometown. I knew I was speeding, and I knew I deserved
a ticket. I was so pleased to roll down my window and find that the deputy was
an old friend I had known for my entire life. We had a chat, and he told me to
slow down and go on my way. Whew! My friendship with him caused him to bend the
rules for me! But Jesus does not work this way. He is our friend, but He is also
our Lord, and obedience is necessary. He says in verse 14, “You are my friends
if you do what I command you.” Make no mistake about this, it is not our
obedience that makes Him our friend. He befriended us in the depth of our
disobedience to Him, not because we earned it or deserved it, but because He
loved us and laid down His life for us. Our obedience does not make us His
friend, but our obedience proves that we are His friends. If you call yourself
a Christian, you are claiming to be a friend of Jesus. Does your obedience to
Him prove that you are His friend?
In the context here, the obedience that we are referring to
is obedience to the command to love one another. Let’s suppose you have two
friends. You love them both and enjoy their company. But, let’s suppose that
those two friends don’t really like each other. Whenever you are all together,
those friends of yours are constantly bickering and fighting with each other
and tearing each other down. At some point, do you not intervene and say, “Listen,
I love you both, but if you are my friends, you need to get over this stuff and
love one another”? Friends, this is how Jesus wants us to conduct ourselves.
You say, “Jesus is my friend.” Another Christian can say the same thing. But
when we fight with each other and treat each other unkindly, we are betraying
our friendship with the Lord. We need to take up that old adage that any friend
of his is a friend of mine! We prove our friendship with Jesus by how we relate
to His other friends. If you are His friends, obey His command and love one
another as He loves you. Lay down your life, your preferences, your differences
of opinion, and embrace that one as your brother or sister! This is the proof
that we really are friends of Jesus: our obedience to His command to love.
Now we come to the third and final aspect of this love …
III. We must love one another as ambassadors of Christ (v16)
When nations seek to establish diplomatic relations with one
another, they commission ambassadors to live in the other country as an
authorized representative of his or her home country. The Kingdom of Heaven
has ambassadors of its own here among the nations of earth. Look around you. A
group of those ambassadors has assembled here this morning. Do you recognize
them? You are them. You are the
emissaries of Christ who have been commissioned to speak and act on His behalf
in the world and with one another in the church. And when you love one another
in the body of Christ, you are the embodiment of the love of Jesus Christ to
one another.
Notice that Jesus says here in verse 16, “You did not choose
Me but I chose you.” You didn’t volunteer for this service. You were drafted.
You say, “No, I made a choice to follow Jesus.” Indeed, you did. But your
choice was merely a response to His. You did not choose Him prior to or apart
from His sovereign choice of you. For reasons only of His glory and grace, He
selected the likes of you and me to be His divinely appointed ambassadors in
the world. Being chosen by Him for this task is a great encouragement for us.
Imagine if Jesus had said, “I did not choose you, but you chose Me.” That would
mean that when we come to Him in our time of need, He would be turning a cold
shoulder to us, as if to say, “Don’t come crying to me. You are the one who
picked this role. Didn’t you know what you were getting into?” But that is not
what Jesus said. He said, “I chose you.” That means He takes full
responsibility for you being in the role of His ambassador. Therefore, when we
have a need – for instance, when we find it difficult to obey His command to
love one another – we can come to Him and say, “Lord, you chose Me! You are all
wise and all knowing. You do all things well and for good purpose. Here I am. I
need help to do what you chose me to do.” Do you think for a moment that He can
turn a deaf ear to such a cry? He cannot. He will not. He chose you. And He
chose you for this very purpose.
Notice how He says next, “[I] appointed you that you would
go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain.” Let me remind you what we
said last week about this fruit that
Jesus speaks about here in John 15. What is it? I gave you a definition last
week: “the fruit that is borne by a Christian in right relationship with Jesus
is a combination of Christlike characteristics, produced by the indwelling Holy
Spirit, as a means to accomplishing God’s purposes in and through the believer.”
Specifically, throughout Scripture, we find two overarching “varieties” (if you
will) of this fruit. One is the characteristics of Christ that are being formed
in us, described in Galatians 5: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Notice the first one in the
list: LOVE! The other is the fruit of
evangelistic converts – people who are won to faith in Christ through our
witness. These two things are inseparable. We cannot win others to faith in
Christ apart from the demonstration of the transformed life that Christ is
producing in us. We have no credibility with an unbeliever if Christ is not
shaping us into His likeness.
The simple fact is that you cannot obey this command to love
one another, or any other command of Christ, apart from the power of the
indwelling Holy Spirit. He must produce that kind of love in you. What we often
fail to realize is the power of the testimony of Christian love for one
another. Jesus said this very thing in John 13. “By this all men will know that
you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” Jesus is willing to
stake the integrity of His gospel on our ability to demonstrate His love toward
one another within the church. Let me ask you something: do you think your
non-Christian friends are impressed with how you can bicker about your church,
complain about your pastor, or criticize another Christian? They are not! But
when they see us love one another in a way that is humanly inexplicable, they
are profoundly impacted by what they see. They will want what you have, because
they have never encountered it before. I have told you many times that I was
won to Christ primarily by the demonstration of Christian love that I began to
see in the lives of the Christians God placed in my life. I don’t expect it to
be any different for anyone else. Jesus said so Himself.
These two varieties of fruit go together. If you have the
fruit of the Spirit which is love for one another, you will see the fruit of
others coming to faith begin to blossom. But, you will not see the latter if
you do not demonstrate the former. It is as simple as that. You may say, “But
it is so hard to love one another!”
Indeed. It is. I find it almost humorous how hard people will work to be
unlovable! But we are unlovable before God in our sins, and Jesus loved us
anyway and laid down His life for us. He calls us to do the same. It is a
mission impossible in our own resources. But we do not operate in our own
resources. We have all the resources of heaven available to us to help us love
one another.
Notice the last part of verse 16. Jesus says “I chose you
and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit … so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to
you.” Now, it would make more sense to us perhaps if it was reversed, if Jesus
said, “I will answer any prayer you pray so
that you can go and bear fruit.” But that is not what He said. He did not
say, “I gave you prayer so you could have a fruitful mission.” He said, “I gave
you a mission to be fruitful, so you would pray and I would answer.” Jesus gave
you a difficult mission so that you would never forget how utterly dependent
you are on your relationship with Him. If you find it difficult, maybe even
impossible to love your brother or sister as Christ would have you love them,
that is normal. But it is not designed to make you give up on them. It is
designed to bring you to your knees and cry out to Him. He has promised to
answer any thing you pray for in relation to your obedience to this command to
bear the lasting fruit of love. Come to Him and call upon Him. “Lord, you have
chosen me! You have appointed me to bear the fruit of love and to bring the
lost to know you! You have even said that my love for these other Christians is
how you want to win those unbelievers! But I cannot do it Lord! I cannot love
them! I do not love them! O Lord, will You love them through me? Can I here and
now lay down my life for them, that Your love will take on flesh in me?”
Friends, that is a prayer that Jesus Christ has promised to answer for you. In fact, He gave you this otherwise
impossible mission to make you see your need for daily dying to yourself, that
He might live and love through you.
Friends, all around us are hurting Christians. Some of their
hurts, you know full well. Others are secret wounds of the heart known only to
the Lord. In this room today are people whose hearts are broken and who wish
for nothing more than to feel the embrace of Jesus Christ surrounding them. My
friends, Jesus Christ wills to embrace them with your arms. He has called you
to be His ambassador, to love others who are hurting and in need with His love.
Will you ask Him to do it in and through you? Will you emulate His example?
Will you obey His command? He has called you His friends. We will prove that
friendship is real as we love one another.
[1] Gary
Chapman, The Five Love Languages (Chicago:
Northfield, 1995), 19.
[2] D. A.
Carson, The Gospel According to John (Pillar
New Testament Commentaries; Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1991), 521.
[3] Robert
Mounce, “John” in The Expositor’s Bible
Commentary (rev. ed., Vol. 10; Grand
Rapids : Zondervan, 2004), 578.