I Saw A Man End His Life Last Night

On my way home from prayer meeting last night, I was on the phone with my wife telling her about my day. It was NOT a good day. Upon telling my brother-in-law about the events that transpired over the previous 12 hours or so, he said, "Man, you really know how to have a bad day!" So, I am driving down Spring Garden, almost a straight shot between church and home. I drive it twice a day. And I am saying to my wife, "This has been a terrible day." I am stopped at a stoplight at Spring Garden and Merritt Drive. The light turns green and the Jeep Cherokee in front of me began to creep through the intersection at a slow crawl, edging slowly into the right lane, and then coming to a complete stop straddling both lanes. I said to my wife on the phone, "What is this guy doing?" The car beside of me blew the horn. Suddenly, the Cherokee sped across three lanes, up a curb, and slammed right into a very large tree. "I gotta go," I said to my wife. I called 911, parked my car and ran across the street, but I could tell that there was nothing I could do for the man. His airbags were covered in blood. His body was limp. Emergency operators on the phone told me to keep my distance and keep everyone else away. A nurse approached the car, and felt the man's pulse. He was dead. Within seconds, the scene was flooded with the flashing lights of responding units: four police cars, two ambulances, a fire truck. They removed the man from the car and began CPR. The newspaper said he died at the hospital, but I think it is more accurate to say he was pronounced dead at the hospital. I am convinced he died at the wheel of his car upon impact.

Several witnesses stood together on the side of Spring Garden Street, all of us wondering the same thing. What happened to cause this guy to do this. It was plainly deliberate. I am not a mind reader, but it seems to me that as he came to a complete stop in the road, he was contemplating whether or not to live or die. And he chose the latter option.

I don't know the man. His name has been released, it was unfamiliar. He was from another town. So many questions. No answers. My guess is that he had a bad day too. I am not so sanctimonious to say, "I don't know how someone could do such a thing." I have tasted depression's bitterness and known the weight of despair. In fact, I had felt it that very day. I do not know this man's faith, or if he had any. But I assume that at the moment of his despair, there was no thought of a God would lift His burdens, and let him cry on His shoulder, and make his tomorrows better than his yesterdays.

I saw a man end his life last night. I didn't sleep too well. I kept thinking about reports I am hearing that suicides are on the rise. This was no young man. But despair is no respecter of persons. And neither is the God who can lift us out of despair. In the moment of despair, a creed is not sufficient. Religious rituals are not sufficient. What a person must know in that moment is that God is there, and God is listening, and wants us to pour it all out for Him. And He can lift us and give us a new day tomorrow. Today my prayers are for this man's family and loved ones as they try make sense out of the senseless. I thank God that all other life was spared. But at least for today, and likely forever, life for me is different because I saw a man end his life last night.