The notable English linguist Samuel Johnson once said,
“Depend upon it, Sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it
concentrates his mind wonderfully.”[1]
There’s nothing like staring death in the face to help one concentrate on the
things that matter most. Together, the four Gospels record seven distinct
sayings of Jesus which He spoke from the cross. If we were to list them in
chronological order, this would be the third of them. One of the amazing
observations about these utterances is that He thinks of others before Himself.
His first statement was to His Father, and it was a prayer for mercy on behalf
of His murderers. Second was a gracious response to the pleas of a penitent
thief dying beside of Him. In this third statement, Jesus turns His attention
and His words to His mother and to one of His closest earthly friends. Lehman
Strauss writes, “I cannot imagine a more glorious and triumphant way to die
than this; namely, in the extending of one’s self in supplying the needs of
others. No man dies in vain who blesses others in his expiration.”[2]
Jesus had a number of antagonists around Him as He died, and
a very few friendly faces. John names four of them for us here: His mother, His
mother’s sister (who may have been Salome, the Apostle John’s mother), Mary the
wife of Clopas, and the disciple whom he loved. We know from comparing the uses
of this term in the Gospel of John that this is John’s usual way of referring
to himself.
Here in this moment, Jesus turns His attention to His loved
ones there at the cross. What was it that caused Jesus’ attention to shift to
His mother? The context may explain this. Just before Jesus speaks to His
mother, we read that the soldiers were gambling for the clothing of Jesus at
the foot of the cross. It was a somewhat common practice for the executioners
to take the belongings of their victims, but John also tells us in verse 24 that
this was taking place to fulfill a specific messianic prophecy: “They divided
my outer garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.” These words had
been written by King David in Psalm 22:18.
Though David never witnessed a death by crucifixion, the
language of Psalm 22 describes the ordeal of Jesus with exact precision. He
speaks of the bones being out of joint, the heart being melted like wax, the
hands and feet being pierced. It is this Psalm in which we first read the words
that Jesus will speak in moments, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”
Though David’s Psalm reflects his own anguish in some horrific ordeal he was
facing, it seems that he was given words by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit
to portray the suffering of the Messiah would come some 1,000 years later in
the person of the Lord Jesus. The soldiers at the foot of Christ’s cross merely
reckoned that they were doing what they normally did. The Word of God indicated
that they were doing far more than they realized. They were fulfilling prophecy
and adding further testimony to Jesus, the Messiah.
John says that they divided His garments into four parts, a
part to every soldier. Typically, we assume that this means that they cut his
garments into pieces, but that is not likely the case. The typical attire of a
first-century Jewish man consisted of five pieces: the robe, the belt, the
headcovering, the sandals, and the tunic (which was an undergarment worn next
to the skin). No one would want 25 percent of a sandal. So, it is likely that
each soldier took one article of clothing, leaving the tunic to be awarded to
the winning gambler in the casting of the lots. They didn’t want to cut it up
into pieces for equal shares because it was a fine garment. Verse 23 says that
it was “seamless, woven in one piece.”
Now, as Jesus watches the soldiers at His feet gambling for
this final item, His heart turns to His mother. But why? It was a custom for
Jewish mothers to make this garment for their sons to be given as a gift to
commemorate their coming of age. This tunic for which the soldiers were
gambling may well have been made for Him by His mother, and worn throughout His
entire adult life. If that is so, then, as Jesus witnesses the fulfillment of
Psalm 22:18, His thoughts may have turned to another portion of the very same
Psalm. In verses 9-10 of Psalm 22, the prophesied Messiah speaks to the Father,
saying, “You are He who brought Me forth from the womb; You made me trust when
upon My mother’s breasts. Upon You I was cast from birth; You have been My God
from My mother’s womb.”
Charles Swindoll says, “His outer garments were
insignificant. … But when they touched the tunic, they touched something very
near to His heart—the garment made for Him by His mother.”[3]
Now His thoughts are filled with memories of His childhood, the love of His
mother, the pain and grief she must feel now, and her fears for the future. Though
no sword would touch that tunic, a sword was piercing the soul of His mother,
in fulfillment of the prophecy of Simeon in Luke 2:35. And it is at this point
that He speaks to her, and He speaks to His friend John about her. The words He
speaks are as profound as they are brief. He speaks to Mary and to John a word
of compassionate concern, a word of revolutionized relationships, and a word of
glorious grace. And these are words that we need to hear as well.
I. The Dying Savior Speaks a Word of Compassionate Concern.
How many of the Ten Commandments could you name? Chances
are, if you have raised children, one you could easily rattle off is the Fifth
Commandment, the command to “honor your father and your mother.” Now, the New
Testament assures us that Jesus kept all of God’s Law perfectly. So, does that
mean that He also kept the Fifth Commandment perfectly? If we examine His
earthly life and notice His interaction with His mother, we may wonder if He
did. At the age of twelve, He slipped away from His family and went into the Temple to interact with
the religious leaders. When Mary and Joseph came to find Him, He said, “Why is
it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My
Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49). Later, when He was attending a wedding with His
mother and others, Mary imposed upon Him to do something for the host, because
the host had run out of wine for the guests. Jesus said to her, “Woman, what
does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come” (John 2:4). We find
ourselves almost wanting to rebuke Jesus in moments like these and say, “Jesus,
that is no way to speak to Your mother!”
Another way in which we may misunderstand Jesus’ words and
actions towards His mother is by confusing honor with obedience. There is a
period of life when honor includes and implies obedience. But there comes a
time also when obedience is not a necessary component of honor. When Jesus was
a child, His life was characterized by perfect obedience to His earthly
parents. Even when He had abandoned them in the Temple at age 12 and spoken so
directly to them about being in His Father’s house, the next verse says that,
“He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to
them” (Lk 2:51). He was still of the age where obedience was necessary in order
to honor His earthly parents. But because He was unique in His nature, being
the fully human offspring of Mary and the fully divine Son of God, Jesus also
was perpetually obedient to His Heavenly Father, and lived to honor Him as well
as His earthly parents. So, when He came into adulthood, when obedience is no
longer inseparably connected to parental honor, Jesus could and did speak
directly to His mother about His obedience and honor of His Heavenly Father without
dishonoring her as His earthly mother. In fact, we may well say that to do
anything other than obeying and honoring His Heavenly Father would be the
ultimate dishonor to His earthly mother, for it was for this reason that she
had been chosen as the vessel to bring Him into the world.
If there is any question about whether or not Jesus honored
His earthly mother, this word spoken from the cross should remove all doubt. He
speaks to her a word of compassionate concern in His dying moments. “Woman,” He
says, “behold your son!” But in saying this, He is not directing her to
Himself. When He says, “behold your son,” He is directing her to John, the
beloved disciple. These words, together with those that follow, as He says to
John, “behold your mother,” indicate that it is Jesus’ desire for John to care
for Mary after Jesus’ death.
Why did Jesus say this? Why does Mary need someone to care
for her? It should be noted that her husband Joseph disappears entirely from
the biblical narrative after the episode at the temple when Jesus was 12 years
old. This has led most scholars to conclude that sometime between Jesus’ 12th
and 30th birthdays, Joseph died. If that is so, then Mary is a
widow, and Jesus, being her firstborn son, is responsible for her care.
We may also wonder, why John? Why does Jesus not entrust her
to the care of one of her other children? Mark 13:55 indicates that it was
common knowledge in Jesus’ day that he had at least four brothers and two sisters,
and that there names were known among the people of Nazareth . So, why did He not entrust Mary
into the care of one of them? We can speculate at least two reasons why. First,
quite simply, they were not there. Had they been there, they may have been
named. They did not live or work in Jerusalem .
Their homes were up North, in Nazareth or Capernaum . John was
there, they were not. But there is another reason. John 7:5 tells us that
Jesus’ brothers did not believe in Him. Thankfully, we know from other Scripture
references that some, if not all, of His siblings did come to believe in Him
and to worship and serve Him. But at this point, they were still unbelievers.
Meanwhile, John is the most faithful follower Jesus has at this point. It was
important to Jesus for Mary to be cared for by one who loved Him and believed
in Him. It was vital for her to grow in her own faith and understanding of
Jesus as, not only her son, but her Savior, and this could best be fostered in
a family of faith. And this brings us to a second point that these words
raise.
II. The Dying Savior Speaks a Word of Revolutionized
Relationships.
A few years ago, a pastor and his family were traveling
through the area and dropped in for worship here with us. I met him and chatted
with him before the service, and at a point in the service, I said something
like, “We are glad to have my brother, Pastor so-and-so, and his family, here
today.” After the service, several people came up to me and said they wanted to
meet my brother and some commented that they didn’t know that my brother was a
pastor. Well, I had to disappoint them by telling them that he was not my
brother from birth, but that doesn’t make him any less my brother. You see,
that man was my brother by new-birth. He and I have been born-again into the
same family. We have the same Father – God, our Heavenly Father – and we are
brothers in the Christian faith. In the same way, I refer regularly to you all
as my brothers and sisters.
This is not a pretend kind of relationship. It is real!
Those of us who have come to God through faith in Jesus have been adopted into
His family. He is our Father, and we are brothers and sisters. Here in the
South, we like to say “blood is thicker than water,” but in reality, the blood
of Jesus and the waters of baptism are stronger than any other earthly tie, for
they are eternal bonds. Jesus has revolutionized our relationships.
He began to do this almost immediately. He made it clear to
Mary and Joseph at the age of 12 that His allegiance to God as His Father
superseded His earthly ties to them. On another occasion, recorded for us in
Matthew 12, Mark 3, and Luke 8, Jesus’ mother and brothers had come to visit
Him but they could not get to Him because of the crowds of people around Him.
When someone told Jesus that His mother and brothers were there wishing to
speak with Him, He said, “Who are My mother and My brothers?” Then, as He
looked around at His followers, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! For
whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother” (Mk
3:33-35).
He was revolutionizing the concept of human relationships.
And He continues to do that up to His death. “Behold your son,” He says to
Mary, pointing her to John. In a sense, Mary has no need for John. She has at
least four other sons, besides Jesus. “Behold your mother,” He says to John.
John was not an orphan. He had a father named Zebedee and a mother named
Salome. She may have even been one of those present at the crucifixion. It is
hard to tell, but it is possible to infer from the Gospels that John’s mother
and Mary were sisters, making Mary John’s aunt,
not his mother. But Jesus is saying, “Mary, I wish you to view John as your
son; John, I wish you to view Mary as your mother.” For in the family of God,
those who follow Jesus are mothers and sons and daughters, and brothers and
sisters in a way that is even more real than our biological relationships.
This is a difficult reality for some of us to consider.
After all, here in the Bible Belt, we have not often been made to feel that
there is any real threat or competition between our allegiance to our earthly
families and our spiritual family. Christian ideals have been pervasive in our
culture for a long time, and for many of you, the proudest day in your parents’
lives was the day that you came to faith in Jesus. But that is not true of
everyone everywhere. Some here in this room understand fully well what Jesus
mean when He said, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate
his own father and mother and wife and children and
brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple” (Lk
14:26). The hatred of which Jesus spoke was not a vehement and violent kind of
rejection, but rather a determined devotion to God in Christ that so surpasses
all other affections that they appear as hatred in comparison. It is a resolve
to always choose allegiance to Christ over all other claims upon your
affections. And that is a decision that some of you have had to make, and one
that countless Christians make every day in the world. Jesus responds to that
very reality when He says, “"Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or
children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel's sake, but that he will receive
a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters
and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to
come, eternal life” (Mk 10:29-30).
Here at the foot of the cross, Mary must no longer view
Jesus as her son. He must become Her Savior. John must no longer view Jesus as
his friend. He must become His Lord. Mary must become a mother and a sister to
John, and John must become a son and a brother to her if they will have a part
in the family of God. And the same is true of all of us as well. For some,
these words are inviting and irresistible. The call to become part of a new and
better family is welcome to those who have broken family relationships or who
face opposition from their relatives because of their desire to follow Christ.
God will be a better Father, and you will find better mothers, brothers, and
sisters in His family than you have ever known. But to others, these words are
a hard challenge. Where God has blessed a person with a strong and loving
family, devotion to that family can become a stumbling block to building
intimacy in the family of God. We must beware of allowing those earthly ties to
become an idol that threatens our allegiance to Christ or hinders us from
developing intimate bonds of fellowship with the new family that we have been
adopted into. We may not always have to make the hard choice. How blessed is
the family where father and mother, son and daughter, brother and sister,
experience the double-bond of genetics and faith. That family must enlarge
their tent and welcome in new brothers, sisters, sons, daughters and mothers,
who have had to make the choice to follow Christ and forsake earthly ties for
Him.
Perhaps you were unable to have children. Perhaps your children
are not followers of Christ. Maybe you never knew your parents. Maybe your
parents were the cause of hardships in your life. It may be that you never had
a sibling, or that you never had a good relationship with your brother or your
sister at home. If you are a follower of Christ, then I want to invite you to
look around this room and see your family of faith. There is a young Christian
here that needs a godly mother and a faithful father-figure. There are ailing
widows who need faithful sons and daughters to care for them in their advancing
age. There is a hurting believer who desperately needs a faithful brother or
sister to help them bear their burdens. Look around you. Behold your son.
Behold your mother. Behold your brother, your sister, your daughter in God’s
family of faith. Behold these revolutionized relationships that have been
created through the death of the Savior. Embrace the reality of these
revolutionized relationships!
III. The Dying Savior Speaks a Word of Glorious Grace.
You may have heard the expression, “Showing up is half the
battle.” The first time I ever heard it was when I was on the high-school
wrestling team. My coach said that showing up was half the battle, and
outwrestling your opponent was the other half. If you showed up, and the other
guy didn’t, you won. So, we had a guy on our team who weighed 112 pounds, and
he was undefeated, but he only had to get on the mat in about half the matches.
A lot of other teams didn’t have guys who were in his weight class, so all he
had to do was step on the scales, and he won!
I want to turn our thoughts here to John for a moment. He
deserves mention because he showed up. Mark 14:50 tells us the sad reality of
what happened to Jesus’ disciples after He was seized in the Garden of Gethsemane Ephesus
today that is called the house of Mary. If that attribution is accurate, then
it shows that John fulfilled his responsibility to the very end. He showed up,
and Jesus spoke to him a word of glorious grace, reconciling him and entrusting
him with a significant ministry.
There may be something in your life that is holding you
back. You may fear that the Lord will not accept you if you come to Him, or
that there is no way that He could use you in His service. John may have had
that same fear. Would the Lord cast him away because he had fled and forsaken
the Lord in his hour of need? Could the Lord ever use him in any way? John
overcame that fear, and he showed up. And when he did He heard a word of
glorious grace. I have often said that the Lord is far less concerned with your
ability than your availability. Show up and say yes to the opportunities that
the Lord puts in front of you, and you will experience that glorious grace as
well.
I want to just hit a couple of quick points of application
on the whole of this text before we conclude. First, examine your heart about
your compassion for others, whether they be in your own family or in the family
of faith. Are you showing honor and concern for those who are due it? Are you
providing care to those in need? And second, have you come to embrace the new
family that God has placed you in through your faith in Christ? Is there some
young Christian that you can be a spiritual mother, father, or older brother or
sister to? Is there some older Christian that you can be a spiritual son or
daughter to? Is there some hurting Christian that needs the comfort of a
brother or sister in their life? Finally, have you come near to the foot of the
cross to meet the Savior? You may fear that you will not be accepted because of
your sins. Listen, friend, your sins are the reason He is there. He knows your
sins, just as He knew John’s. And He died for them. Remember what Jesus said in
John 6:37, “The one who comes to me I will certainly not cast out.” So if you
never have before, I pray that today you would come to Him and receive Him as
your Lord and Savior. And if you have, then I hope you will make yourself
available to serve Him and to serve His people, your spiritual family, in
whatever way He leads you.
[1] Cited in
Erwin Lutzer, Cries from the Cross (Chicago : Moody, 2002),
71. Background info from http://www.thisdayinquotes.com/2009/09/hanging-it-concentrates-mind.html.
Accessed March 5, 2012.
[2] Lehman
Strauss, The Day God Died (Grand
Rapids: Zondervan, 1965), 56.
[3] Charles
Swindoll, The Darkness and the Dawn (Nashville : Word, 2001),
153-154.
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