Words from Shirely Newton's Funeral

On Monday, July 16, 2007, my mother-in-law, Shirley Newton, went to be with Jesus following a long and courageous battle with ovarian cancer. Below are the words I spoke at her funeral on Thursday.

Proverbs 31:10-31

¹⁰ An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels. ¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain. ¹² She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. ¹³ She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight. ¹⁴ She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar. ¹⁵ She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens. ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard. ¹⁷ She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong. ¹⁸ She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night. ¹⁹ She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle. ²⁰ She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy. ²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet. ²² She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple. ²³ Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land. ²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen . ²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future . ²⁶ She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. ²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness. ²⁸ Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: ²⁹ "Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all." ³⁰ Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. ³¹ Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

Sir Christopher Wren was considered, in the 17^th Century, the greatest English architect of his time. He designed 53 London churches, including St. Paul’s Cathedral. He died at the age of 91, and was buried in the crypt of one the cathedrals he had designed, and his tomb is marked with these words: “Reader, if you seek his monument, look around.”

How many lives have been enriched by knowing Shirley Newton? It would be impossible to estimate. I have four things I want to speak of about her. First, is her family. I have never known anyone who loved their family more than Shirley. She was proud of her godly parents and honored them every time she spoke of them. She loved her siblings, and their spouses, and their children. She absorbed Don’s parents and siblings and their spouses and children into her heart as well. She loved her girls. When I first met Donia, I really thought this was a strange group of people, because they always wanted to be together. Sherrie jokes that Donia and I moved to Maryland because I was afraid Donia would make me move in with Don and Shirley. I assure you that was not the reason. Many of you were at our weddings, and you know how Shirley went to great lengths to make each of them special so that everyone would know how proud she was of her daughters. She was more than their mom, she was their best friend, always ready to listen, always wise to guide. Shirley was proud to be a grandmother. I don’t think she ever looked more joyful than when she had one of those kids on her lap. Christmas was always huge. I think we averaged about ten hours or so to open presents, and as the grandchildren opened those special things they had asked for, Shirley’s eyes lit up and a smile stretched over her whole face.

Don, she loved you. We celebrated your 40^th Anniversary just a few days ago, and it was always such a blessing to me to see the two of you together, more in love with each other every day. I want to thank you for the great model the two of you have been for the six of us, for what a great and godly marriage can be. And I think we should also say that we are so grateful for your care for Shirley that drove your engineering abilities into the realm of medical research as you always sought the best care and treatment she could get. You’ve been a great example to us, and I believe we were all able to have Shirley with us a little longer due in part to your guidance of her care.

Now I must say a word about her friends. Shirley had more friends than anyone I know! She made friends everywhere she went. Bridge, golf, bowling, teaching, church, the doctor’s office, wherever! And if you were Shirley’s friend, you know you were special to her. I don’t know how many Christmas presents she bought every year, but she always made sure her friends knew they were loved.

Another thing we must say about her is her fight. Some of you know perhaps that when Shirley was born, she was premature and the doctors told her mom to take her home and enjoy her, because she wouldn’t live long. But her mom fed her with a medicine dropper, and nurtured her, and not only did she live, she lived well! By the time I met Shirley, she had already been through a battle with breast cancer and a major heart by-pass. But these things never slowed her down. I can remember distinctly that call about 7 years ago when the ovarian cancer was found during a hernia operation. Numerous ups and downs, but honestly more ups than downs, would come. But she never complained. She rarely took anything stronger than Tylenol for her pain. And she always focused on the positives and what God was doing in her life through it all. Watching her perseverance through her suffering was an inspiration to us all. Total strangers who crossed paths with her would be challenged to hang in there and keep fighting. Last night, we heard from several who said that they were battling cancer, and finding strength in Shirley’s example. She went out of this life like she came into it – as a fighter, overcoming odds, and enjoying every second of life she had. But don’t ever say that cancer got the best of her. I think cancer took a beating from Shirley. She fought it, and she won. The apostle Paul says, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” And today, in the presence of Jesus, she has conquered cancer fully and finally.

I mentioned her friends, her family, and her fight, but underlying all of these things was the common denominator of her faith. As a young person, Shirley was taught the love of God by godly parents and a faithful church, and as she grew into maturity and became aware of her own sins, she turned in faith to Jesus as her Savior. And her love for Christ permeated every part of her life. Nearly every sentence she spoke had God as the subject or the object. She was keenly aware that her life was in his hands and because of her faith in Christ, she had no fear of death. She knew that she was forgiven and would be received into heaven by her Savior. John Wesley once said, “Our people die well.” Shirley lived well, and she died well.

The grace of God was not just something she received, but something she gave to others. At a cancer conference last year, they spoke of forgiving others as a path to wellness, and Shirley could say with confidence that she had no one to forgive, and that she held no grudges. The love and grace she showed to others was a mirror of her relationship with God. And because of her faith in Christ, today Shirley enjoys the glory of His presence in her heavenly home where she will live forever.

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I invite you to visit the online memorial for Shirley Newton, and read her brief biography/obituary, view pictures of her life, and sign the guestbook if you wish.